Money Diary #34

Morning: Up around 7:30, brush teeth, and make scrambled eggs for everyone. No meetings until 11:30 this morning, so drink a cup of tea and go shower. Prep for my afternoon meetings. Since my afternoon meetings run until 3, eat an early lunch at 11 of cauliflower fried rice & spicy fish stew with onions. I get a FedEx package from work for my upcoming trip. 

Afternoon: Power through meetings until 3. My last meeting is with my manager, I follow up on some to-do items from that, and call it a day. No more meetings for the week! I put an out of office up for tomorrow morning, since I'll be running a few errands with parents. An afternoon snack of pineapple coconut cake/tres leches, hashbrowns, and a cup of tea. Parents head out to Home Depot, and once they come back, Mom excitedly tells me that they got a free hydrangea plant since it was the last one!

Evening: Walk around the house to get some cardio in and clear my head. Dinner is cauliflower fried rice & spicy fish stew with onions. More walking around the house, brush my teeth, and Apple tells me I've walked more than 15,000 steps every day so far this year! Exhausted and bed around 11.

Money Diary #33

Morning: Up around 7, drink a cup of tea, and turn on my laptop. Keep an eye out on email, see that my 10:30 call gets moved to a different day, and get ready for my 10 am call. The call goes well, and then I go shower. Dad air-fries shrimp, and I have that along with cauliflower fried rice for lunch.

Afternoon: Jump on a noon call that ends early at 12:45. Prep for calls tomorrow, and then log off for a bit to make a Kroger run with parents. Shop the clearance aisles (Stevia mango/ginger drink, a banana nut cookie, cauliflower & broccoli hashbrowns, orange juice, coconut water, coconut water with espresso, veggies, Italian bread, tater tots, and Hershey's cookies 'n cream colliders) and back home by 2:30. Everyone splits the banana nut cookie which is so yummy. Keep an eye on my inbox, and then Dad air-fries an afternoon snack of cauliflower & broccoli hashbrowns for everyone. They are super tasty, and have that with a cup of tea.   

Evening: Read Money Diaries for a while (what is about them that is so relaxing?!). Dinner is cauliflower rice, air-fried salmon, and Italian bread. Brush teeth and bed around 11. 

Money Diary #32

Morning: Up at 6, help Dad with laptop stuff, and drink a cup of tea. Make scrambled eggs for everyone, and sit down to work. Work for several hours and then connect with my manager. I am really tired but want to power through before I take a break for a shower. 

Afternoon: Work for a while, shower, and then finally eat lunch (cauliflower fried rice & fish stew). I am still hungry so I have a pineapple coconut cake & tres leches combo for dessert. Work for another few hours and then call it a day. I am so exhausted. Dad air-fries the plant patties, and they don't look great, so I have negative expectations of it. One bite later, and HOLY CRAP -- THEY ARE SO GOOD. Text SO the great news, lol. Have a cup of tea, followed by a glass of orange Fanta afterwards.

Evening: Eat some homemade sugared cottage cheese. Read for a bit since Dad is on a call until 9. Then dinner is cauliflower fried rice & veggies, and bed around 10:30. Here is what I learn:

• On why it's important to remain mentally active: He retired at 65 and then developed dementia a short time later. The main issue was that he had no plans to remain active. Rather, too many hours (and subsequently days) were spent in front of the TV for hours on end.

• Average or rich: "Average folks are not rich. Rich folks are not average."

• On income: "Income does not matter if you spend away all your income" and therefore have no savings.

• On why mental health is so important: "You can't pour from an empty cup."

• On being grateful for SO: "If you're in a good relationship, it feels like a haven of comfort and relaxation to spend time with your significant other." 

• On being on the lookout for real estate deals: Someone mentioned "There will be folks that overspent on their houses. You can count on it. And, that is the source of cheaper housing down the road." I asked, "How do you locate people who overspent on houses?" He replied, "Why do you need to locate them? The average gross saving rate is less than 5% and almost everyone has no emergency fund. Hence, almost all house owners overspent on their houses."

• On inflation and real estate prices: He sold his house for $460k to a young couple with kids that had clearly stretched every possible time to afford it and were only able to do so because of interest rates hovering around 2% at the time. Zillow says the house is now worth over $600k. On the one hand, that couple bought more house than they could afford now that things cost more in our inflationary environment. However, with inflation, their wages could have gone up, and they are locked in for 30 years at an incredibly low interest rate. According to him, people will generally leverage themselves to the hilt to hang out to their houses. Which could mean no more family vacations, no eating out, whatever it takes to keep the house, they will do it. For his own situation, he is worried he will never see the opportunity to buy back the house from the couple for anything near what he sold it to them for (less than two years ago!), and he'll be stuck continuing to rent. In a way, he was the one who downgraded his lifestyle, not them. And it sucks because getting back into that kind of house just doesn't seem possible anymore.

• When meeting someone for the first time, ask yourself: "What tribe do I think they belong to? 

Money Diary #31

Morning: Up around 7:30 and drink a cup of tea (without milk and sugar for the next couple of weeks). Log on for work and monitor emails that come in. Drink another cup of tea and go shower. Get ready for my afternoon meetings. An early lunch of cauliflower fried rice and an omelet.

Afternoon: Calls between 12 to 3, and then review a project that comes in. Dad asks if I can help him with more laptop stuff tomorrow morning, so I will get up early and do that. Another cup of tea to round out the late afternoon. I read a couple of Money Diaries, including one which reminds me how COVID made me realize that I'm in a much better headspace when I am alone (or with SO or parents) and not making small talk with people.

Evening: Read for a bit, dinner is cauliflower fried rice & another omelet, and bed around 10. Here is what I learn.

• What the pandemic did for me: It illuminated a gap between what I wanted from my life and how I was actually living it. 

• Ideas for an indulgent bath: Make a lavender bubble bath and snack on mint chocolates while in the tub. 

• What a great way to view body changes: "A lot of my clothes don't fit, but I've been hesitant to buy new clothes. However, I know the best way to feel comfortable with my new body is to treat it with respect and not try to squeeze into things that feel uncomfortable." 

• On how to understand other people: People are logical, even if they don't understand their own triggers and inputs. To understand their behavior, you need to understand their goals, why they chose those goals, and what they see as blockers to their success. By doing this, you can develop enough empathy to understand how they see their world. 

• On Buddhism: "Chop wood, carry water" means there is no goal, purpose, or endgame to life. What we get up and do everyday is life. That is all there is. Rather than try to fight this and think that "if only X would happen" or "once I get to a certain point, everything will be better," lean into the rhythm of it. Today, I got up and chopped wood & carried water. Tomorrow, I hope I will be here to do the same, and that the people I love will be here with me. But that is not up to me and not anything I can control, and so even if I get up tomorrow & everyone I have ever loved is gone, I will need to chop wood and carry water, and I will do that. It doesn't have to be perfect; it just has to get done.

Money Diary #30

Morning: 

• He leaves for his sailing club around 7:30, I get up, and read the Python book on the sofa for a while. Finish part 1 of the book (bookmark p. 89 as the starting point for next time), brush my teeth, and get dressed to head to parents' place. I weigh myself before I leave, and it's not as bad as I had expected. I do, however, need to cut down on the amount I've been eating lately (including sugar). 

• Once I arrive, read more Python, eat breakfast of toasted Hawaiian rolls & tea, and also try a bite of the pineapple coconut cake Mom tells me they found in the clearance aisle at Kroger. It's really good! Mom also tells me that the neighbors finally fixed their fence, so there is no longer a gap between our yard and theirs. As it took them nearly a year to do this (and was very annoying to say the least), I am super grateful and also wonder out loud if the neighbors are thinking of moving. Other parts of their fence had also been broken for the past year, and they've had those fixed as well. My mom really likes being in the backyard, and felt uncomfortable with the gap that existed for the past year, so I'm grateful that she can enjoy her backyard again in peace and solitude. Lounge on the sofa for a while, catch up on blogs, and then go shower. Watch a few reruns of old Scooby-Doo episodes. Download the free Saturday Sampler deal from Albertsons which is plant-based meat this week. 

• I read an article on Jake Gyllenhaal and how "he has found that professional disappointment can yield personal benefits." That makes me pause and think about a few years ago. I had been working towards a rotation in Europe, and in the fall of one year, my then-manager (who I admired and respected a bunch) had indicated it was in the works for me to move to Europe early the next year. Then, my management changed, and when I asked new management about my Europe rotation, I was told no. Needless to say, I was heartbroken and very professionally disappointed. In hindsight, though, a couple of months after I received the news I wouldn't be heading to Europe, I met SO. So I am a living example of how professional disappointment can lead to personal benefits. The Jake Gyllenhaal article also highlights that while the journalist kept asking about the noise, Jake focused on the signal. That's an important reminder to me when I work, I'm always asked about the noise, and I need to focus on the signal.

Afternoon: Dad makes air fried tilapia, and we have that with lentil stew for lunch. I immediately fall asleep on the couch afterwards. I hear my mom saying they're off to Albertsons to get the free plant-based meat, and then the next thing I know, I hear the garage open when they come home. Apparently, I was out for an hour or so, haha. Eat some tres leches cake, send SO a picture of the free plant-based meat so he can get it too, and then have ladyfingers with tea. Read for a while, and here is what I learn:

• On what financial independence means in corporate America: The right boss makes the difference. Once you are FI, focus on picking a boss (vs. a company), rather than letting things work the other way. 

• On how to improve your professional life (part 1): Talk to more people, and by doing so, you will learn how to become more reasonable. You will learn how to live in the mess -- more in the gray area and less in the black-and-white. A black-and-white version of the world leads to two consequences: (a) perceiving life events in an emotional way and (b) a distorted view of the world because you can't see nuance.

• On how to improve your professional life (part 2): Part of my job requires me to be a therapist. Let the other side vent and then guide their emotions. After all, I'm getting paid to listen to what they're saying, point out what emotions they are feeling, and guide those emotions. 

• On how the future can throw curve balls: A doctor enjoys her job now but could have surprises like a couple of malpractice cases that may make her bitter and disenchanted with medicine. She should not take working for many years and future income for granted.

• On how I can add value: I need to keep up to date in my profession, but my value lies more in doing the right thing, the right way, over and over again. I am not inventing anything new. 

• On having negotiating power: He is looking for a house and wants to pay $5 million for it. Instead, he should tell the seller he is no longer interested, that his initial offer is off the table, and that he is lowering his bid to $4.75 million. The key is you have to be willing to walk away from the deal. That is when you have the power.

• On a high net worth: People with high net worth have to put that net worth somewhere -- it can be in index funds or in a house.

• On what an optimist is: "An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery."

• On the difference between ambition driven by insecurity vs. ambition driven by the desire to self-actualize: The former begins by feeling you're not enough. The latter is an affirmation of life -- it's an attempt to do the most you can do with the body you've been given. It doesn't compete with others but with yourself. It is the act of pure desire rather than the fear about not feeling enough.

Evening: More Scooby-Doo, dinner is air fried tilapia & fish stew with rice, and brush my teeth. A couple of work projects came in earlier this afternoon, and I think about getting a head start to the week. Decide to do it tomorrow & summarize what I've learned about Python instead, and bed around 10. Here is the Python summary:

• How to approach programming: Use the "Grilled Cheese" method. You don't need to be a Michelin-starred chef, but it is useful if you can cook a meal for yourself. In a similar fashion, if a piece of code solves a program, that's all we need it to do. 

• What a programming language is: A programming language allows a human to manipulate the computer's physical hardware by switching transistors on and off.

• On visualizing a script: A script is a set of instructions with conditional checks (questions that are answered with "yes" or "no"), operations to be carried out, and an endpoint (which is a "Yes" answer to the first conditional check question). When drawing it out, use a diamond for conditional checks, a rectangle for operations to be carried out, and an oval for the end of the process.

• How algorithms can be political: Algorithms can help make the world appear in certain ways over than others by ranking, classifying, sorting, predicting, and processing data. 

• When using Twitter's free APIs: APIs are software that request data from Twitter. The free APIs do not let users have 100% of the data they request. The only way to get 100% of the data that match your search criteria is to buy the data from a Twitter-approved vendor. When you extract data through a free Twitter API, you're limiting the scope of data you'll receive and you also have to be mindful of Twitter's terms and conditions regarding data usage.

Money Diary #29

Morning: Hear the 6:15 alarm ring, get up, and brush my teeth. Shower, get dressed, and get ready to meet his friend before the car meetup this morning. We head to a Starbucks in the wealthiest part of town, and once we arrive, I love how this Starbucks looks and feels like a rustic Italian villa. He wants a cold brew and we use a pre-paid card (from more than 15 years ago!), so I don't count it when tallying up today's spend total. Friend arrives and gets a drink, and then we chat for a bit. We then all head to the car meetup, and I am so bored. It's the same cars, the same people, and the same conversations. Thankfully, the local Rotary club has free drinks so I initially grab a hot chocolate and then a lemonade as the morning goes (or rather . . . drags) on, lol. Another one of his friends and wife arrives, and I'm so happy to see her. We take pictures together. 11 o'clock rolls around, and we finally (!!) leave. Head to the nearby Target where he wants to get gold golf balls (lol), then to the Bath & Body Works next store to grab a free small mini lotion with our coupon, and finally to the Goodwill Boutique nearby. The regular prices here are like non-Goodwill prices, and even at half off purple tags, those prices are still too high for my taste. Though I tell SO we should stop by here anytime we're in the area since the quality of the clothes is really good. 

Afternoon: Lunch is Taco Bell (2 beefy melts and 3 chicken burritos for us) ($10.83) after which he drops me off at the local library and then goes to play tennis with his family friend. I thought this library would be bigger so I'm initially kind of disappointed. I find a comfy chair, plop down, and surf the web. As I'm sitting in the library, I realize that while it's on the smaller side, it's fairly cozy and has an okay-ish personal finance section. I pick up a couple of books that look quasi-interesting and migrate over to the soft chairs next to the floor-to-ceiling windows. I start reading one book and get bored within a few pages. I go back to surfing the web, reading various online articles, and end up reading my Python book. Bookmark p. 34 as the starting point for next time. SO asks how I feel about Olive Garden for dinner with the family friends. I'm okay with OG and he picks me up from the library around 5:30. His friend's wife sends the pictures from this morning, and sigh, I look so heavy. I start to come up with a plan on figuring out how to lose weight.

Evening: Head back to the family friends' place and hang out with all the kids for a while. There are four kids and the mom. The eldest just got accepted with a full-ride to our state's top college and received an acceptance from UC Berkeley as well. After half an hour, we all head to OG for dinner. SO gets unlimited soup and salad and I get the Tour of Italy with zuppa toscana. It's all really tasty but so filling. I also eat like 10 Andes chocolates at the end of the meal and am stuffed. As soon as we say our goodbyes and are back in the car, I immediately unzip my jeans as they are uncomfortably too tight, lol. Make a quick stop at the wealthy town's Kroger and I immediately notice how there aren't any clearance racks. I tell SO that the citizens of this wealthy town probably expect to pay full price for everything, lol. We grab a couple of Bang energy drinks that we have coupons for ($1.72). Head home, pour a glass of Space Coke (which is disgusting and tastes like a gingerbread/red velvet cake drink), and watch him play GT7 for a while. Apparently while watching him, I fall asleep on the couch around 10, feel someone hug me & ask if I want to head to bed, and then ultimately migrate over to bed around 11.  

Eating out = $10.83

Groceries = $1.72

Total = $12.55

Money Diary #28

Morning: Wake up a bit past 7 and realize it's Bridgerton Season 2 day!! I have a bit of work to do before I can settle in with Netflix, so I send a couple of emails and hunker down for a few hours with work. Around 10, my boss calls me letting me know she'll be flying into the main office next month and if I'd be interested in going as well. I think it'd be a good idea for me to go, though the introvert in me wrestles with anxiety. I also struggle with showing up to HQ heavier than I'd like to be. Ultimately, I decide to go and connect with our admin to book flights & hotels. 

Afternoon: He wants to go buy the golf clubs he saw yesterday, so we first stop at Costco to pick up lunch of hot dogs and a mocha freeze ($6.48). Then stop by the golf store where he buys clubs, and once we're home, eat lunch. Connect with our admin one more time and get confirmation on the hotel & flights. I'm kind of nervous but also really excited. Get a couple of things done for work and send them off. He sees a golf glove on Craigslist that's apparently right in the neighborhood so we go there and buy it ($5). Then stop by Albertsons to pick up more Space Coke (LOL) and the free butter ($4.09). Watch the initial episodes of Bridgerton, and Pen's statement of "when you're invisible, it brings all the amusement you want without any of the expectations that popularity brings you" simply amazes me. 

Evening: He makes mushroom & egg rice for dinner, and I keep watching Season 2 of Bridgerton. OMG, I love this so much. Power through all of the season and finish a little after midnight. Bed around 1. 

Eating out = $6.48

Clothing = $5

Groceries = $4.09

Total = $15.57

Money Diary #27

Morning: Wake up at 6:45, brush my teeth, and log into my 7 o'clock webcast. Parents head out to grab Chick-Fil-A for breakfast. Some emails come in that I respond to. Once parents return, I have a chicken biscuit, some hashbrowns, and a cup of "tea coffee" for breakfast (essentially mixing in Chick-Fil-A roasted coffee with black tea and then adding milk and sugar). After the webcast, I have two back-to-back video calls, so I get camera ready for those. Once those calls end, I take a shower and eat an early lunch before my noon call. Lunch is rice and spicy tilapia stew.

Afternoon: The noon meeting goes well, I set up a follow-up call, and then jump on a two-hour meeting. A project comes in, so I focus on the parts that need my review and schedule to do it tomorrow. Once the call ends, I log off for the day and get ready to head back to SO's place. Set a reminder to myself to call my former coworker back later today. Eat a snack of an Amy's burrito and tea. Head back to SO's place and unload stuff from the car. A couple of emails have come in, so I respond and complete a few things for work. I've been toying with the idea of learning Python, and I find a book that's geared towards beginners wanting to learn practical applications of it. I start reading it, jotting down some notes, and bookmark p. 24 as the starting point for next time. SO texts that he had a huge team building lunch of tacos so we'll probably not head to Ikea today for dinner.

Evening: I call my former coworker and we end up chatting for almost 2 hours. After SO gets home from work in the midst of the call, he lies in bed and plays on the phone. After the call with my former worker ends, it's a bit past 7 and we head to the nearby golf & tennis store to pick up his racket that he had strung. Stay there for a bit while he tests out various golf clubs and then we head to Winco. We walk around and price check things given inflation these days. Back home, eat the last Insomnia Cookie (peanut butter), and he makes rice. We have that with the last of the Japanese chicken curry and bed around 11:30.

Money Diary #26

Morning: Wake up exactly at 7:30, brush my teeth, and drink a bit of tea. Get camera ready for my two video calls that go until 9 and then drink more tea. Hop on a 9:30 call that runs a few minutes. Afterwards, go shower and wash & shampoo my hair. Power through the large project which I complete (yay!!). Send a few emails and then get ready for my noon call. I also check grocery coupons and see that Albertsons has 29 cent bananas (which SO will love) and a free package of butter that my mom will like. Download both digital coupons and ask SO to do the same. Text him that I'll head back to his place late tomorrow afternoon. 

Afternoon: The noon call ends within an hour, and then lunch is Amy's pad thai. I hear emails come in, so I check and folder them. Lie down for a bit and apparently fall asleep for 10 minutes. After I get up, I feel so refreshed! Prep for one of my morning meetings tomorrow and keep an eye on my inbox. SO texts about a couple of digital coupons at Kroger for sports drinks that he is interested in, so I download them. Snack on fish sticks & tea and then do a hot oil hair mask.  

Evening: Read for a while and wash my face. As I'm washing, I realize I need to do a full-on facial at some point, so I mentally schedule to do that next week. Dinner is naan & egg stew, play on my phone for a while, and bed around 10 since I have a 7 o'clock meeting tomorrow. Here is what I learn:

• Ten years ago, this was my dream and today I'm living it: I spend most of my day with people I enjoy spending time with (SO and my parents). I never feel alone; rather, I feel so recharged, focused, and productive.

• Being wealthy should feel like a privilege and not an obligation: "When people say things like 'it feels like no amount of money is ever enough,' that makes me sad. When being wealthy feels more like an obligation rather than a privilege, I think you're doing something wrong."

• Something to remember: What seems like a good idea today might lead to regret tomorrow.

• On past and future income: They were talking about buying a $5 million house with an amazing view of the water. In order to afford the house, they need to keep working 70 hours/week (or, 140 hours/week combined). Someone asked, "How long have you been making $750k to a million per year?" Another person piped up with "And how much longer do you expect to be earning that much per year?" A third person mentions how someone making $1 million/year essentially could live paycheck to paycheck. A last person points out that "buying an expensive house with a new view to work 70 hours/week is like having nice wallpaper in your prison cell."

• On golden handcuffs: 

• At the executive level, there is lots of money along with equally intense peer pressure both to consume and to be a team player. An executive who lives paycheck-to-paycheck can be relied on to always toe the line and not to threaten the executive team, regardless of how outrageous objectives might be or how emotionally oppressive the environment might be. 
• The thinking is: "If you have a big house like the rest of us executives, then you won't call anyone out when things are a little off. For instance, being forced to manage a higher up's relative who may not be performing, or being forced to fire someone competent in order to make room for this relative's salary. With each small papercut, you are expected to turn your head when these expectations cross the line into a grey area."

Money Diary #25

Morning: Dad wakes me up at 6 since I promised to do some computer stuff with him before work starts. After I do the laptop work with him, I go shower and sign into my 8 o'clock webcast. Eat breakfast of toasted & buttered Hawaiian rolls with a jalapeno omelet while listening to the webcast. Once that ends, prep for the morning meeting with my manager. SO texts about going to IKEA later this week since they have a deal about buying food and getting an equivalent discount on furniture. Meeting with manager goes well, and I set myself reminders on a couple of action items. 

Afternoon: Lunch is naan and spicy egg stew with a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice, and then I start working on a large project which I'm trying to do a little bit of each day. My last meeting of the day is at 2:30 with my manager and another colleague, so once that ends, I work some more on the large project. Have a bit of a Tolberone bar with Mom and then an English tea for a late afternoon snack. Call it a day and read for a bit. Here is what I learn: 

• On the most important question: Even if it's good for my career, is it good for my mental health? 

• On remembering to be grateful: I WFH and lead a simple life. By any definition, my life isn't an Instagram-worthy one. But, I am surrounded every day by "my people" -- my SO and my parents -- who form the basis of my everyday interactions. Thanks to WFH, I don't need to project a certain image on Zoom and I don't need to figure out what to wear.

• On golden handcuffs: An associate in a high-paying industry has over $1 million saved up. The salary difference between staying in that industry and doing non-profit work has become so large that even though the latter was the dream several years ago, that's no longer the case. As they put it, "it's so difficult to pull the trigger and give up the current goose laying golden eggs." 

• On what a leader is: A leader owns "a mutual fund of employees." Even if one of their direct reports heavily overachieves, but others are simply average, a leader is dependent on making sure their entire team succeeds.

• On community: "Community is built from repeat small interactions." 

Evening: I miss a call from a former coworker who wants to catch up, so we schedule some time to connect later in the week. An early dinner of rice and egg stew. Afterwards, I do a bit of work on the large project and will aim to complete the entirety of it tomorrow. I'm super tired, so brush my teeth, play on the phone a bit, and bed by 9:30.

Money Diary #24

Morning: On a big struggle bus this morning and see it's 7:30. I sit in bed and check email on my phone. Turn on laptop, complete a training, and start working on things that have come in. Eat a few toasted & buttered Hawaiian rolls and continue working. Take a quick shower, and eat an early lunch of an Amy's burrito since my afternoon is full of meetings. I haven't had Amy's in a few years, and it's pretty tasty. SO texts on whether I'd like to go on a day trip next month to visit a friend of his in a nearby city. Prepare for my noon meeting.  

Afternoon: Meetings run until 3, and oof, I'm tired. A colleague is going out on leave, and my manager asks if I'm interested in one of the projects she is leading. It's definitely an interest of mine, so I make a note to look into it further. A snack break of afternoon tea and fish sticks and then back to work for a couple more hours. Split a Toblerone bar with Mom. Schedule some time during the week to finish off one of the bigger projects will take some time to review. 

Evening: Thunderstorms start outside, and I listen to the rain while reading. Here is what I learn:

• On what is the ultimate freedom: "I am financially independent. I don't need a job, so I don't have to put up with any employer that I don't want to work with. And, that is the ultimate freedom."

• On monetizing: "Find a way to monetize your dopamine addiction."

Dinner is on the new Corelle plates with cauliflower rice and the last bit of spicy fish & onion curry. I'm really beat for the day, brush my teeth, and head to bed early at 9:30.

Money Diary #23

Morning: Hear him get up to leave for his sailing event, and by the time I get up, it's 7:45. Take laundry out of the dryer and fold it. Move things into my car and brush my teeth. Call parents to let them know I'm on my way to their place. Once I get there, Dad helps me unload the car. Eat a buttered slice of toast, shower, and wash & shampoo my hair again today. Hang out on the couch and watch March Madness with Dad. We both comment on how Reggie Miller just does not age! Haha. Mom says she really likes the Corelle plates from Target.

Afternoon: Lunch is rice & spicy fish and onion curry, yum. Food coma immediately hits afterwards and I take a nap as March Madness plays in the background. Parents go grocery shopping, and once they are back, Mom asks if anyone wants ice cream. Dad and I split a coconut melona while Mom has a melon melona. More March Madness, and then an afternoon snack for everyone of ladyfingers and English tea with milk and sugar. Sit with Dad who explains taxes and Turbotax to me.  

Evening: More March Madness, and do a hot oil mask on my hair. Dad is watching the Hallmark Channel (HAHA!), but I want to watch I Dream of Jeannie, so I switch the TV to that. Dinner is rice & spicy fish and onion curry with freshly-squeezed orange juice. Brush teeth and bed around 10.

Money Diary#22

Morning: Wake up when I hear the 8:15 alarm go off. He kisses me goodbye, heads to his sailing event, and I surf the internet for a bit while still in bed. Finally get up at 11, brush my teeth, and migrate to the sofa to watch Friends.  

Afternoon: He comes home around noon and asks what we're doing for lunch. Decide to go to La Madeleine, grab our coupons, and get dressed. I feel kinda blah and realize it's my favorite (ha!) time of the month. I've never been to La Madeleine, so when we get there, I'm pretty excited. He gets tomato basil soup and chicken friand, and I get cream of mushroom soup and chicken friand. OMG, it's so good and really filling. We probably won't make this a regular occurrence because it's pricier than our regular rotation of takeout places, but with coupons, it's not too bad. Head to his friend's bubble tea place which is next door to drop off some pineapple cakes, and then our next stop is Harbor Freight. I walk around, am super bored, and I tell him how bored I am, hahaha. He know this is one of my least favorite stores to visit -- he finds the hacksaw he wanted, pays for it, and then we head to the Middle Eastern grocery store nearby. Grab two juices (peach & lemon mint) ($4.31). Then to Costco for gas and we walk around the store. Eat the samples (beef sirloin, egg roll, pigs in a blanket, coffee, tuna, and chocolate milk). He gets (an actual) blanket and some dog toys. Our last stop is the golf & tennis store. I walk around the store while he checks out their clubs. Finally get back home, pass out on the couch, and he pours a glass of Fresca for me. I read for a bit, and here is what I learn:

• On how the same skillset can either be underpaid or demand higher rates: Is it perceived as a cost of getting something done or as an opportunity to get something done well? For instance, architects can be underpaid, but they can make big bucks in the adjacent marketplace of UX design.  

• On growing confidence: Stop waiting, hoping, and hanging on every little bit of "maybe" and leave the ball in the other side's court. Don't follow up or even think about the specific opportunity anymore. When looking for opportunities, make sure you have as many irons in the fire as you can. 

Evening: His sister works abroad and is visiting next month, so I clean up one of the guest bedrooms. The bed is covered in my clothes/makeup/etc., so I organize into bags and store in a corner. Throw things into the laundry. Then shower, wash & shampoo hair, and watch him play GT7. Complete the survey to get a free hamburger the next time we go to my favorite burger place. We have a couple of coupons for Nitro Pepsi (the regular one and the vanilla one), so we head to Wal-Mart to see if we can find any. We don't, but he needs lunch meat for next week so we grab that ($3.74). Then to Kroger for a couple of True North energy drinks that are free but this location doesn't have any. He spots Starlight Coke ("it's space flavored!" he shouts), hahaha, so we get a regular sugar version as well as a zero sugar one ($4.52). Back home, dinner is leftover Chinese takeout & his Japanese chicken curry + rice, and drink the lemon with mint juice which is really tasty. He wants me to watch The Matrix since I've never seen it, so we watch that and bed around 1.

Groceries = $12.57

Total = $12.57

Money Diary #21

Morning: Wake up around 8 and roam around the house for a bit to wake myself up. As I'm walking, my boss video calls me on the phone, which is weird because she's supposed to be on vacation. I quickly get camera ready, sign in on my laptop, and call her back. She apparently has a last-minute presentation during her pre-scheduled vacation (ugh) and is having laptop issues, so just wanted to double check that I could see and hear her. After my call ends with her, I read a few WSJ articles, including one about how LinkedIn tends "to simply amplify users' offline networks and tendencies, rather than forging new, different, or expanded networks" and how someone "raised in a well-off ZIP code is three times as likely to have a robust network." A project comes in, I review it, and have a couple of questions that I will follow up on next week.  

Afternoon: He warms up the leftover Chinese food from last night, and I eat lunch. He plays GT7 while I brush my teeth and shower. I get dressed (hoodie and these fancy Puma leggings he got for me earlier this year). He WFH all week this week, and I love having him at home. It's so much nicer when he's here during the day. A family friend of his comes over to play tennis. The friend is a teenager, SO is basically a big teenager at heart, and I love watching them interact with each other. I pour a glass of Fresca, keep an eye out on my inbox, and the boys play GT7. Once they are video game'd out, the three of us head over to the nearby high school. The two guys play tennis, and I walk the track and find 26 cents in spare change. 

Evening: His friend wants the Chinese place where we went to dinner last night, so we drive over there where SO gets him a lo mein/teriyaki chicken/orange chicken meal. We then head over to my favorite burger place where he gets a double hamburger meal and I get my favorite melted cheeseburger meal ($19.79). The receipt has one of the "complete this online survey and get a free hamburger on your next visit" coupons, so I will do that tomorrow. We then head over to drop his friend off and we eat our burgers there while he chats with the mom who also gives us fresh strawberries and brown sugar malted Ritz-type crackers (OMG, the crackers are sooo good). We leave there around 11, and once we're back home, he showers and I watch Friends. Bed around 1.

Eating out = $19.79

Spare change found = $0.26

Total = $19.53

Money Diary #20

Morning: Awake around 9, check email, and brush teeth (yay, for doing it in the morning today). Look over my notes for my 10 am Zoom meeting, do a project that came in yesterday, and jump on the call. The call ends with me being a bit frustrated as I'm not sure why one of the stakeholders doesn't present the real rationale for a request and instead goes into tangentially-related details. I had connected with my manager on this topic beforehand, so I set up another meeting with her and this stakeholder. I try to walk off my frustration a bit and distract myself by completing one more project. SO mentions he wants to head to a St. Patrick's Day Happy Hour with his colleagues this evening and asks if I'm interested in going. Ehh, I'm not a huge bar person, so I look and see what else is around there. There's a Target nearby where I can hang out and people watch. Also make plans to head to a Chinese place for dinner that has HUGE portions (just thinking about it makes me happy). Look at the clock and realize it's almost time for my noon call. 

Afternoon: The noon call ends a bit early, and I write down some reminders to myself. Meetings done for the week! A project comes in, and I look at it quickly. Schedule some time tomorrow to do it, and then keep an eye out on my inbox. I think about what to wear when we go out since it's so hot outside today. I typically wear sweats since that means I have two pockets for phones & a wallet, and I don't like carrying a purse most of the time. A couple more projects come in, so I complete those. Text parents that I'll head back to them this weekend. Get dressed (hat, jeans, and a sweatshirt) and head out. 

Evening: He drops me off at Target, and I walk around and people watch. I also remember why Target is so tempting -- I spot a jersey for my local NFL team, a boba squashmallow (IT'S SO CUTE!!), and a 4-set extra large Corelle plate set. I resist the squashmallow and ultimately decide to get the jersey (on clearance for $8.99) and the plate set for my mom (on clearance for $4.49) (total = $14.59). He calls that he'll pick up some cookies from Insomnia Cookies and asks what flavors I want. I'm okay with any of the flavors, so it'll be a surprise. After he picks me up, we go to the local Chinese place and hope it's still open by the time we get there. It closes at 9:30 and we get there at 9:22. Get three takeout boxes (two for us and one for his mom) -- lo mein, orange chicken/teriyaki chicken/sesame chicken, and chicken kebab-type things. Each box is overflowing, and the total comes to $31.47. We drop off food at his mom's and then head home. Dinner is so tasty, followed by No Time to Die & snuggling on the couch, and I eat a snickerdoodle and part of a salted caramel cookie. Drink a glass of Fresca and bed around midnight.

Clothes/household goods = $14.59

Eating out = $31.47

Total = $46.06

Money Diary #19

Morning: Up around 8, lounge around for a bit, and bring my laptop to bed. See that a few projects have come in, so I start working on those. No meetings today, yay! Jot down notes for a meeting with my boss next week regarding one of the projects and figure out a plan for the rest later this week. His family friend drops off recent goodies they brought back from a recent trip abroad. Brush my teeth (I really need to get into a habit of doing this each morning), shower, and get dressed. Head out to the sushi buffet at 11:30. His friend is meeting us there. 

Afternoon: His friend is running late, and by the time he gets there, I've eaten three huge plates of food -- one overflowing with sushi; another with shrimp tempura, fish katsu, noodles, spicy chicken, and hibachi mushrooms; and a third plate of sushi, fish katsu, noodles, and spicy chicken. Unfortunately, the shrimp tempura is popular and his friend doesn't get a chance to try them. As he eats his first plate, I eat a chocolate fondue marshmallow, some rice krispy treats, and finish off with orange slices which are SO juicy. YUM. To walk off the food, we decide to head to the outlets in one car. At the outlet, I get 6 pairs of socks for $3.57 (from that store which is closing). Then we stop by the Adidas store where he gets a couple of fanny packs, a hat for me, and some "home" shorts for me (too short to wear outside but really comfy to wear at home). His friend doesn't get anything, and we all head back to his friend's boba store to drop him off and grab a couple of drinks. SO gets a mango passion fruit drink, and I get a wintermelon crema. Head back home, take a sip of the crema drink (so delicious), and start working. Finish a project, jot down some notes to go over with my manager, and plan out my day tomorrow. Then read a WSJ article about how Peleton thinks they "might be able to slap a reasonably priced subscription on what was once aspirationally priced hardware."

Evening: Eat a pineapple cake, watch Selling Tampa, and dinner is Japanese chicken curry & rice. While he plays GT7, I read for a bit. Here is what I learn:

• On the gate of prestige: Many desirable things someone wants over the course of a career will be gated by mechanisms that favor applicants with prestigious backgrounds.

• On career longevity: 

1. The biggest barrier to a multi-decade career is burnout. In order to prevent burnout, you must manage your own pace and look out for your own mental health. Remove the default approach to any situation that fixing the situation is your personal responsibility. Instead, approach work in a way where you set yourself up to do your best work years down the line. 
2. As you get farther into your career, you get more deliberate about selecting roles to avoid situations that can lead to burnout, have toxic parts associated with the job, or otherwise take a bad turn.
3. Learning doesn't just come from doing things, be they old things or new things. Learning also requires time that you specifically carved out to reflect on how you're doing old things, how you're approaching new things, and how you could adjust your future approach. In order to improve, you must have space to reflect.

• What financial independence means: creating flexibility both for you and for the people you love & who depend on you 

• On management vs engineering: Management is really interruptive, while great engineering requires blocking out interruptions.

• On why doctors are choosing early retirement: As one doctor said, being a physician isn't what she thought it would be. No one cares how good of a doctor she is, but rather, simply how much revenue she can bring in for her hospital, or alternatively, how much free or donated time she can provide to her employer such as teaching, research, committees, administrative work, etc. 

Clothes = $3.57

Spare change found yesterday = $0.30

Total = $3.27

Money Diary #18

Morning: Up around 7:30, lounge around, and finally get out of bed around 8. Keep an eye on email, and log into my 9 am Zoom call. Watch Friends for a bit once the call ends. My regular meeting during lunch tomorrow gets canceled, so since he's WFH this week, we make tentative plans to head to a sushi buffet place tomorrow. Call to see when they open as we want to be the first in line for their shrimp tempura (since they tend to have limited quantities), lol.

Afternoon: Attend a noon meeting, which ends in 15 minutes. Watch the inbox for email and look at notes for my meeting with my boss towards the end of the workday. Meeting with the boss goes well, I set up a call for next week, and I log off. More Friends. It's the Emily episodes and I had forgotten how she had been introduced into the storyline. He wants to head back to the motorcycle store since he has two coupons, so I get dressed.

Evening: Head to the store, he gets a tire rack, and then he drops me off at the mall while he goes to work out at the gym. I find 29 cents on the ground, and he finds a penny at the gym. Once we're back home, dinner is leftover Japanese chicken curry & rice with iced tea. More Friends, watch him play GT7, and bed around midnight.

Money Diary #17

Morning: I hear my work phone pinging with instant messages, see it's before 5, and turn the notifications off. Finally wake up at 8:30 and check email. He makes coffee, I watch Friends, and keep an eye out on email.

Afternoon: Wash my face, Listerine, and jump onto my 12:30 Zoom call. Once that ends, we head out to Kroger to grab Rockstar energy drinks that are 10 for $10 and pick up a couple of clearance naans that I'll bring back to parents this weekend. Up next is Costco where he gets dog treats, limoncello white chocolate almonds, and cereal. I get a mocha freeze ($3.24). After getting back home, I jot down a couple of notes in preparation for my call with my boss tomorrow, do some work, and then watch Friends. I also read about how you spend your days is how you spend your life. Munch on some limoncello white chocolate almonds while he plays GT7. I tell him to take the plate of almonds away from me, otherwise they'll disappear really soon.

Evening: He goes to the gym to work out and drops me off at the mall. I walk around and find 39 cents in spare change. Once he's done, we head to his mom's house to drop off dog treats and some limoncello white chocolate almonds. Come home, eat Japanese chicken curry & rice for dinner, and watch him play GT7. Bed around midnight. 

Eating out = $3.24

Spare change found = $0.39

Total = $2.85

Money Diary #16

Morning: Hear him rustling around 7, and I figure he is getting ready to head out to his sailing club event. The next thing I know, it's 8:45, and he's still in bed for some reason (it was too cold, he tells me, so the sailing event got pushed back to the afternoon). I fall back asleep again and then it's somehow past 10. Stay in bed, huddle under the covers, and read until noon. Here is what I learn:

• On why time matters: You cannot buy good health. You cannot buy time. You cannot buy time with good health.

• On why remote work is good for mental health: Work becomes transactional, and in doing so, breaks the idea that your emotional and personal worth is tied to work.

• On maintaining boundaries: They are not entitled to it just because they are asking.

• When you can't go through the front door, look for a side door: Wellesley students can cross register at MIT. List College students at Jewish Theological Seminary can get a dual degree from Columbia.

• On why privacy is power: What people don't know, they can't ruin.

• On using cash vs credit card: She saves 70% of her income and recognizes that if she paid cash for everything, she'd probably spend even less than she does (and would save a greater amount than the 2% cash back she gets for using her credit card). 

• On dealing with people who disrespected you: Don't react. Respond with silence. You will be in control.

• On staying anonymous: If you are already living the life you want, stay anonymous. 

• On staying patient while investing:  The market transfers wealth from impatient people to patient people.

• When you truly want something: Fight like you're the 3rd monkey in line for Noah's Ark.

• On a realistic view of day-to-day Corporate America: 90% of the job is simply managing around other people's laziness, incompetence, ego, and analysis paralysis. 

• On why lifting weights would be a good hobby for me: It's beneficial for my health. You know what's better for investments? Having another healthy year for them to compound.

Afternoon: Brush my teeth around noon and watch him play GT7. Turn on Selling Tampa, split the chicken tendies and fries with him, and work for a bit. He leaves for his sailing event. I send an email, and my boss responds immediately (she is truly a superwoman!). Our 8 am meeting tomorrow gets canceled, YAY! Shower, wash & shampoo my hair, and pour a glass of apple seltzer water. He comes back and wants to head to a motorcycle store since he has a coupon. I change and we head out. Get to the store where he buys motor oil, and then we head back home.

Evening: Watch Friends while he makes Japanese chicken curry and rice. Eat the curry & rice, and OMG, it's so good. He added cornstarch to the curry, so it's extra thick this time, and I love it. He plays GT7 after dinner, and I lounge around on the couch and do a bit of work. Get a project done that I had been procrastinating on and send it off. Bed around midnight. 

Money Diary #15

Morning: Wake up around 7, look at my phone, and promptly pass out until 10:15. Finally get up, brush my teeth (realize I hadn't done so in the past 2 days, ewww), and migrate to the couch. He plays GT7, and I read. Head out around 11:30, and our first stop is the outlet store which is closing. 

Afternoon: We get clothes for both of us, 2 pairs of shoes for his aunt, and socks for both of us. I insist on paying this time ($108.14). Walk around the outlet mall and stop by Bath & Body Works to use 2 free coupons for one full-sized Teakwood body cream and a mini Gingham body cream. Next stop is Ikea where we finally (!) get the frozen yogurt cone ($1.08). Browse around the store and stop at the restaurant for 2 chicken tender plates, one coffee, and one fountain drink ($16.76). I am fully stuffed by the time we finish and keep drinking the diet cola (yum). Read a Money Diary while he finishes eating. As we're approaching the end of the store, there are free samples (!!) today. Each of us grabs a Swedish meatball with gravy, chocolate (dark for him and milk for me) and drinks (elderflower for him and pomegranate for me). We were planning on going to Costco afterwards but decide to go back home instead. Once we get home, he plays GT7, and I read for a while. Here's what I learn today:

• On what the end goal is: The end goal is not to become a member of the C-Suite. It is to be anonymous and wealthy.

• Money leading to stress vs contentment: Someone makes a high six figure salary yet finds themselves stressed out rather than content. 

• On giving notice: If you have a manipulative manager, frame the notice as a "I'm burnt out, so I need to take a break and figure out next steps." Know the exact details you want to reveal and control the narrative. You don't owe anyone an explanation (if they ask where you're going, you don't have to say a thing), and their feelings aren't your responsibility.

• On minimizing work stress: Instead of being the "quarterback" at work (i.e., someone that manages others or serves as the hub across various functions), try being a defensive lineman (i.e., work comes in, you get it done, and your mental health is better off for it).

Evening: Head out to the local high school track where he runs and I walk. Afterwards, he drops me off at the mall and goes to work out at the gym. I find 14 cents while walking around the mall. Walking is one of my favorite things to do, and finding spare change on the ground is a bit like a treasure hunt. Once we're back home, it's James Bond time, dinner of chicken fried rice & an eggroll, and bed around midnight. 

Clothes = $108.14

Eating out = $17.84

Spare change found = $0.14

Total = $125.84

Money Diary #14

Morning: I hear emails on my phone and see it's a bit before 6. Lay in bed until my 7:15 alarm. Get up, Listerine, and jump on my 8 am Zoom call. The meeting goes well, and he gives me a name to follow up with. Jot down some notes to share with my boss, and then I'm done with meetings for the day. He finishes up a call, we watch the finale of The Mentalist (made it through all 7 seasons), and then head out to a local outlet store that is closing their nearby location.  

Afternoon: Everything in the store is 70% off, and we stock up with clothes/shorts/joggers/shoes/socks for him, a sweatshirt for his mom, and a long-sleeved shirt and socks for me. He pays and it's around $125. Walk around the outlets a bit, and as we're heading back to the car, he mentions I should get some shoes since they are so cheap. I'm okay with the shoes that I'm wearing but he insists, so we head back for round 2. The second time around, we get shoes/socks/clothes for him, shoes for his mom, and shoes/hoodie for me. I try to pay for round 2 but he insists on paying again. It's $130 for round 2. I'm starving by this point, so he places a to-go order at our favorite nearby Chinese place. 2 orange chicken lunch specials with another plate of chicken fried rice ($21.70). We pick up the food and head home. We eat and he tries on all his new things. I turn on one of my favorite episodes of The Mentalist and fall asleep for around 45 minutes. 

Evening: He plays GT7 as I lay on the sofa and surf the web. He heads to the gym a short while later, and I watch Friends. When he gets to the gym, he texts me that he has lost the coupon we had for Burger King tonight (HAHA!). An hour or so later, he comes back and finds the coupon next to the coupon drawer and we head out. First stop is Walmart for carrots & onions ($2.72). He'll use those to make Japanese curry this weekend. Then we head to Burger King for 2 Big Fishes (part of the 2 for $5 meal) and our family deal coupon (3 Whoppers, 3 cheeseburgers, and 3 fries for $13). The total comes to $19.43. I tell him that ever since he has been WFH on Fridays, Friday seems like Saturday since I get to spend time with him at home 3 days in a row (YAY!). Last stop is his mom's to drop off burgers and a fish sandwich for her. Once we're back home, we eat dinner (Big Fish + a glass of Coke Zero for me along with some fries) followed by Schitts Creek. Bed around midnight.

Eating out = $41.13
Groceries = $2.72
Total = $43.85

Money Diary #13

Morning: Up around 8:30, Listerine, and sign into a 9:30 Zoom call. The call goes interesting, to say the least. One of the stakeholders couldn't make the call at the last minute and gets called out. The stakeholder who set up the call doesn't like the answer from a second stakeholder and proposes asking an adjacent stakeholder. The second stakeholder, who ultimately is responsible for answering for the initiative, remains firm on their answer. As soon as that call ends, the second stakeholder calls me to vent. We chat/vent for around 30 minutes, and I'm struggling with how the stakeholder who wasn't able to make the meeting was called out. 

Afternoon: My boss pings me about a link to our next call, and I ask her if she has a couple of minutes to chat. I walk her through what happened on the morning call and wonder if calling out the missing stakeholder was simply a power play since the person that did the calling out recently received a promotion. She agrees with that guess, and I make a mental note of that person's character. We also go over a couple of substantive questions she is working on and I have a follow-up action item on that. We jump on our 12:30 webcast followed by a 1 pm call. I draft up an email with the necessary information that she had requested and send that to her after the call ends. Boyfriend sent a bunch of texts this morning about interesting things but I didn't have a chance to read them. Looks like there's a deal going on at IKEA about discounts on food if you buy a certain amount of furniture, so I expect we'll head there next week. A former coworker texts wanting to know where I am, and I promptly delete her message. I really like her personally but didn't appreciate the last work-related conversation we had. Towards the end of that job, I learned "friendliness at a distance," and that's the mantra I carry forward with most former coworkers now. Watch the second Harry Potter.

Evening: He comes home, changes, and heads to help his boba friend transport/unload boxes across town. In case he runs late, he puts my dinner (leftover chicken noodle soup with rice) in the microwave. For the next few hours, I watch Friends and text him that I'll probably eat around 9. He's on his way back and just needs to pick up my honeydew smoothie from the boba shop, so I'll hold on eating dinner until he gets back. Once he gets back, I try the honeydrew smoothie since I'm supposed to provide my feedback on it to his friend, and it's a 6/10 for me. Wintermelon crema, I'll never leave you! Eat dinner and bed around 10:30 since I have an early morning meeting tomorrow.

Money Diary #12

Morning: Up around 7:45, check email, and migrate to the sofa. Watch Netflix (Friends) and he makes coffee. Brush my teeth, and hop on a noon call. 

Afternoon: The noon call ends early, so I eat a couple of slices of banana bread. Right after the call ends, I do a quick walk around the living room as I'm a bit perplexed as to why I'm mad. There were three stakeholders on this call besides me: the requestor stakeholder and the other two approver stakeholders. The approver stakeholders were not prepared at all, and while the call went fine, I'm struggling to understand why I care that they were unprepared. Drink more coffee, watch The Mentalist, and get ready to leave for his dentist appointment. While he goes in for his appointment, I sit in the car and read. He is done by 5 and we head off to Costco. 

Evening: At Costco, we get a bunch of things, including pork loin (which is $4 off), clothes for him (English Laundry pants, a skater-brand t-shirt, and joggers) and clothes for me (red Nautica hoodie and black Champion sweatshirt). My work clothing is now basically all Costco clearance athleisure, and I love it. My current sweatshirts that I wear on Zoom calls are green and red, so the black sweatshirt is going to be my go-to when I'm on more formal Zoom calls. My Zoom background is set to white, and the black on white will look awesome while still being super comfortable. I grab us a whole pepperoni pizza for dinner ($10.77). On the way home, I call our local outlet store that's closing in a couple of weeks to see how late they are open tonight (only until 7) and when the closing sale begins (Friday!). We make plans to head there on Friday afternoon. Once we get home, I have a couple of slices of pizza for dinner along with a glass of Coke Zero. I watch some Mentalist and then he plays GT7. Around 9:45, he asks if I'm tired (which means he wants to go to bed, haha). We head to bed, play on on our phones a bit, and fall asleep around 11.

Eating out = $10.77

Total = $10.77

Money Diary #11

Morning: Hear my phone pinging with emails, so I wake up around 7:30 and send off a quick email. He gets up, gets dressed, and kisses me goodbye. Keep an eye out on emails and log on to an investing presentation that a vendor is putting on. I sent an email to a group I'm interested in learning more about and they email back! Set up a call with them later this week. My noon meeting gets canceled. I brush my teeth.  

Afternoon: Turn on Netflix (Friends), eat a couple of slices of banana bread, and jump on my 2 pm call. It's a video call that runs til almost 4. Take a shower, wash & shampoo my hair, and get dressed (hoodie and sweatshirt) since we're running errands later tonight. SO calls that there is a lot of traffic. I eat a matcha choco roll, yum, and drink a bit of Coke Zero.

Evening: Watch The Mentalist and SO comes home. He plays GT7 while using my hip as a table (hahaha) as I lay on the couch. Around 8:30, we get ready to head out so I put my beanie since it's very cold outside. Stop by his friend's Boba store, where we get a couple of free bobas -- wintermelon crema for me (yum!) and an assam black tea with grass jelly for him. He hangs out with his friend for a bit and I drink my wintermelon crema drink. That first sip where it's all crema is delicious, and I drink half the drink by the time we head out. Stop by Walmart next and get boneless skinless chicken thighs, chocolate toast crunch, hot dogs, and almond milk. He says he'll make Japanese chicken curry (my fav) soon so we'll need to grab carrots and onions in the next couple of days. Back home and drink the rest of my wintermelon crema. He cooks chicken noodle soup with eggs and rice -- it's incredibly tasty, and yes, I'm very spoiled. Bed around 12:30.

Money Diary #10

Morning: Up around 5 and promptly fall back asleep. Next thing I know it's 7, so I turn my 7:15 alarm off. I get up, take out the trash, and Listerine. I see I have more projects come in than usual, so I get started on those. He heads to work, and I jump on my 8 am call with an international colleague. It goes pretty well, and I jot down some notes to share with my manager. Keep working on the projects that came in earlier this morning until I more or less finish them and prep for my afternoon meeting with my manager. Jump on a 11 am webcast where I listen in.

Afternoon: Dial into a 12:30 Zoom group call hosted by my manager. She runs meetings really efficiently, and we're done within 15 minutes. Draft a few emails to send, and then jump on my 1:30 meeting with my manager. I go over a few things with her and have a couple of action items after the call. I complete those items and then grab 4 slices of banana bread. So um, I cannot stand bananas but I LOVE banana bread, YUM. Pour myself a glass of Coke Zero and log off for the day. 

Evening: SO comes home around 5 and has a couple of York Peppermint patties for me (that are devoured very quickly) along with a glass of iced tea. He needs help moving the roof rack from his car, so I huff and puff for 15 minutes as we move it from the car into the storage area. As soon as we're done, I pour another glass of Coke Zero and pass out on the couch. He goes to the gym and I watch Friends. Once he's back, I switch to The Mentalist. He warms up the last of the pasta, and I also have a bite of his mom's beef stew (yum). I head back to the couch and watch more Mentalist for a while. He wants to play GT7, so I veg for a couple of hours and bed around midnight. 

Money Diary #9

Morning: I hear him leave for his sailing club around 7:30. Pull the covers over my head, stay in bed for an hour or so, and migrate to the couch. Turn on Netflix and fall asleep until 11 or so. He comes home around noon and takes a shower.

Afternoon: I brush my teeth around 1. He makes chicken wings for lunch for me, and he eats chicken and rice. He also reminds me of the Crumbl cookie from work (I had forgotten!), so I eat that as well. Pour a glass of Coke Zero and I'm back on the couch to watch The Mentalist. Do a bit of work to prep for the meeting with my boss tomorrow. Read several Money Diaries, and I love how one diarist takes a shower right after her meetings end each day as a way to separate the work day from the evening and to wind down a bit. I like the idea of delineation and will try that tomorrow. Some other things that I learn from the Money Diaries:

• On the importance of gratitude: The diarist reminds herself how fortunate she is to have a house to clean, a job to be stressed by, and money to budget.

• On starting out your career in a VHCOL city: 

1. The diarist never thought she'd take home $7,000 per month but is appalled about how almost half of it goes to an apartment because of her desire (or as she puts it, the "the luxury") of living alone.
2. She views living in the city as a mere transaction, and as soon as she has accumulated a nest egg, she is out of there. 

• On why retiring in your 30's isn't a good idea: The commenter references Suze Orman's "Why I Hate the FIRE Movement" to highlight that you lose the ability to compound wealth if you kneecap your prime working years.

• On being lucky: The commenter notes how the diarist hasn't worked any harder than herself but has so much more security and comfort thanks to family money. It's not about how the diarist was level headed, rather it was about being lucky.

• On cooking as meditation: The diarist's parents are "food is fuel" people, but she always loved cooking and the experience of eating food. She feels relaxed and in control when she's in her kitchen. While her job is kind of tiresome and boring sometimes, and her life can be like that too, being in the kitchen is an escape for her. Cooking is an art form to her and fulfills her in a creative sense.

• On how to win influence in corporate America:

1. People want to be heard and feel heard. Worker bees do what it takes to make themselves look good; people who progress up the career ladder make other people feel like they matter. 
2. The feel heard part is most important to career progression. Even if you can't give them what they are asking for, the value of truly listening and acknowledging what you have heard before offering an answer to the ask is vital. 
3. You can make someone feel heard by doing several things: (i) use the person's words back to them (i.e., if someone repeatedly says "my kid" vs "my son" or "my child," then refer to "their kid" in the conversation; (ii) mention the feeling they are expressing ("That is frustrating."); (iii) never interrupt but ask questions when they are finished talking; (iv) repeat back a summary of what they say so they know you've actually heard what they are saying; (v) incorporate a bit of what they want into whatever solution you can offer; (vi) thank them for engaging with you and say you understand where they are coming from; and (vii) when you can't get them what they want, explain why.
4. In terms of asking questions to convey you are a strategic asset to the company, you must listen for what they aren't saying. As an example, to illustrate how a worker bee might approach something vs someone who is a "listener": let's say you've been asked to put together an analysis of something that seems dumb and obvious. A worker bee would simply buckle down and do the work because that's the task in front of them. By contrast, a listener asks, "I understand you're asking me for this analysis because of XYZ business issue. What are your concerns with the question giving rise to this analysis? How can we address them?" and then stops talking. This latter approach makes the listener look more strategic to senior management.

Evening: Watch more Mentalist, dinner is leftover wings & raisin bread, and bed around 10:30 since I have an early meeting tomorrow.

Money Diary #8

Morning: Up around 7:30, brush my teeth, and migrate to the sofa. Start watching Love is Blind: The Reunion, move parents' groceries to my car, and Dad texts a bit before 8:30 to let me know they're heading out. SO gets up and starts playing GT7. Slightly before 9, Dad texts again saying they are nearby, so I drive to where they are and drop the groceries off. Come back, plop on the couch, and watch him play GT7. I read an article on IKEA and its emphasis on food. The article mentions how "it's difficult to do business with someone on an empty stomach." It goes on to talk about how in the 1950's, companies noticed that powdered cake mix sales were declining. Which was weird because all the consumer had to do was add water. That process, though, was too easy since it removed the effort, and more importantly, the emotion from baking. When companies removed egg powder and made consumers add their own fresh eggs to the mix, sales went back up. I love reading articles like that. He wants to go to the gym, so I put on sweats, t-shirt, light jacket, and a visor. I really wish I could wear shorts today since it's so muggy outside, but I haven't shaved my legs in a while so I put that on my mental to-do list for next week. As soon as we leave the house, I realize I forgot our Nestle Tollhouse Cafe coupons so we'll have to do that tomorrow. He drops me off at the mall around 10:30, and I walk around for the next hour and people watch. After he is done at the gym, he picks me up, and we head to IKEA for lunch where we get 2 plates of chicken tenders (chicken tendies, we shout!) with fries, coffee, and juice ($15.13).

Afternoon: Spend around an hour eating lunch, and I am absolutely stuffed. The tasty pear juice along with the Swedish diet cola did me in! Too stuffed in fact for frozen yogurt unfortunately, so I tell him we need to make a specific fro-yo visit to IKEA sometime. There are a couple of chicken tendies with fries left, so he gets a to-go box. We head to the outlets next where we walk around and discuss the structural differences between the Michelin Man and the Pillsbury Doughboy (LOL). By this point, I am super hot and tired, so once we're back home, I pass out on the couch and take a nap while he plays GT7. Once I get up, we split the chicken tendies and fries, and I drink a glass of Coke Zero. I spend the rest of the afternoon reading Money Diaries, and while I enjoy seeing how someone handles their finances, their career guidance has been invaluable to me as well. Some things I learn from today's diaries:

• On the importance of work-life balance:

1. How you couldn't tell the difference between the diarist's working days and the weekend 
2. Her company is flexible on location and hours, so that she and her colleagues can run errands, pick up kids, and do what they need to do. Then, when they are in the right headspace to focus, they deliver excellent work product in the requested timeframe. That's how her company drives productivity.
3. The diarist highlights how her work quality and ability to deliver on a deadline -- rather than the exact number of hours she's spending at her desk (or rather, her kitchen table) -- matter.  

• On progressing in Corporate America:

1. Everything I do or say builds up political capital, even when it shouldn't.
2. Observe the environment around me and absorb what kinds of approaches get buy-in from cross-functional stakeholders.
3. It's important to slow down my pace. Listen hard to understand the actual message and how it is delivered.
4. Observe and imitate. If something works to get someone promoted, it's what the company considers "good behavior." Therefore, pay attention to what "good behavior" is being rewarded. 

• On what I need to do next in my career: 

1. My goal -- I think -- is to become a senior individual contributor. That is, the highest role I can have at the company as an individual contributor without getting into management.
2. I can't simply assume that if I keep doing what I'm doing for long enough and don't screw up, I'll eventually make senior IC. I should ask (i) what is the highest role of an individual contributor and (ii) what skills are needed in order to become a senior individual contributor.
3. I need to start seeing my work not simply as an exchange of my time for their money, but rather an opportunity to find out what I'm good at and how to get better.

Evening: Start re-watching the reunion episode of Love is Blind. I hate that I love this show, lol, and OMG, the teaser for The Ultimatum. Then back to The Mentalist. Dinner is leftover pasta, more Mentalist, and drink mango beer with my legs in his lap while he plays GT7. Bed around midnight. 

Eating out = $15.13

Total = $15.13

Money Diary #7

Morning: Wake up around 7:30, and promptly fall back into bed. Turn on my laptop around 8, do a project that came in, and migrate to the couch around 10. No meetings today, so I watch The Mentalist and keep an eye out on email. He calls the nearby Gamestop since Gran Turismo 7 came out today. The store has a couple of copies left, so I put my hair in a ponytail, grab a sweatshirt, and we head out. He gets the last copy and we head back home. He warms up leftover pasta, and we have that for lunch. 

Afternoon: I move back to the couch and watch The Mentalist. He joins me and lays his head on my hip as we find out who Red John is. See that a project has come in for work, so I do that and log off for the day. We are heading up to his friend's place later today, so I finally get up around 2:30, brush my teeth, and wash my hair & shampoo. Get dressed (leggings, t-shirt, and light jacket) and we head out. There's a grocery store near his friend's place that my parents like to visit, so I call them and see if they want anything. Mom says they do and to call her once we're in the store. Stop by Bath & Body Works, liberally spray myself with Teakwood, and see if we can use our free item coupon. There's nothing that catches our eye, so we head to the TJ Maxx next door. He gets a dog toy for his friend's Golden Retriever and then we head to the grocery store. Get to the store, call my mom, and get snacks, veggies, and flour for them ($22.42). Finally get to his friend's place and decide to go to Chick-Fil-A for dinner.

Evening: He gets a Spicy Chicken Deluxe meal with Coke Zero and I get a Regular Chicken Sandwich meal with sweet tea. Had a free sandwich coupon so it's $13.30. His friend's kids play in the CfA playroom for a while, we all get refills, and then we head back to the friend's place. He and his friend play GT7 while I make a pillow fort and take a catnap. His friend's MIL comes in and says her daughter (friend's wife) wants SO to take the Golden Retriever since the dog is the subject of many fights between friend and his wife because the puppy is so hyper. The wife was the one who wanted the dog, so I silently roll my eyes. (A couple of weeks ago, SO asked how I felt about getting the dog, and it was a pass for me.) Since we had CfA today, I need to find where we're going to have lunch tomorrow (our initial plan was to have CfA tomorrow). I find a Chinese place that looks tasty and send that over to SO for his thoughts. Make plans to meet up with parents around 9 tomorrow morning to drop off the groceries. SO and his friend play GT7 for the next few hours, another friend stops by around 9:30, and I see that a work email has come in (I always have my work phone on me). Apparently, the department is having a "welcome back from quarantine" lunch at HQ in a few days, and someone's manager asked them to accept the invite. That someone replied back to everyone in the department and bluntly stated they weren't comfortable coming back in. Daang on copying the entire department, but good for them for expressing how they really feel. We head out around 11. Back home, drink some sweet tea, and bed around midnight.

Groceries = $22.42

Eating out = $13.30

Total = $35.72