Money Diary #9

Morning: I hear him leave for his sailing club around 7:30. Pull the covers over my head, stay in bed for an hour or so, and migrate to the couch. Turn on Netflix and fall asleep until 11 or so. He comes home around noon and takes a shower.

Afternoon: I brush my teeth around 1. He makes chicken wings for lunch for me, and he eats chicken and rice. He also reminds me of the Crumbl cookie from work (I had forgotten!), so I eat that as well. Pour a glass of Coke Zero and I'm back on the couch to watch The Mentalist. Do a bit of work to prep for the meeting with my boss tomorrow. Read several Money Diaries, and I love how one diarist takes a shower right after her meetings end each day as a way to separate the work day from the evening and to wind down a bit. I like the idea of delineation and will try that tomorrow. Some other things that I learn from the Money Diaries:

• On the importance of gratitude: The diarist reminds herself how fortunate she is to have a house to clean, a job to be stressed by, and money to budget.

• On starting out your career in a VHCOL city: 

1. The diarist never thought she'd take home $7,000 per month but is appalled about how almost half of it goes to an apartment because of her desire (or as she puts it, the "the luxury") of living alone.
2. She views living in the city as a mere transaction, and as soon as she has accumulated a nest egg, she is out of there. 

• On why retiring in your 30's isn't a good idea: The commenter references Suze Orman's "Why I Hate the FIRE Movement" to highlight that you lose the ability to compound wealth if you kneecap your prime working years.

• On being lucky: The commenter notes how the diarist hasn't worked any harder than herself but has so much more security and comfort thanks to family money. It's not about how the diarist was level headed, rather it was about being lucky.

• On cooking as meditation: The diarist's parents are "food is fuel" people, but she always loved cooking and the experience of eating food. She feels relaxed and in control when she's in her kitchen. While her job is kind of tiresome and boring sometimes, and her life can be like that too, being in the kitchen is an escape for her. Cooking is an art form to her and fulfills her in a creative sense.

• On how to win influence in corporate America:

1. People want to be heard and feel heard. Worker bees do what it takes to make themselves look good; people who progress up the career ladder make other people feel like they matter. 
2. The feel heard part is most important to career progression. Even if you can't give them what they are asking for, the value of truly listening and acknowledging what you have heard before offering an answer to the ask is vital. 
3. You can make someone feel heard by doing several things: (i) use the person's words back to them (i.e., if someone repeatedly says "my kid" vs "my son" or "my child," then refer to "their kid" in the conversation; (ii) mention the feeling they are expressing ("That is frustrating."); (iii) never interrupt but ask questions when they are finished talking; (iv) repeat back a summary of what they say so they know you've actually heard what they are saying; (v) incorporate a bit of what they want into whatever solution you can offer; (vi) thank them for engaging with you and say you understand where they are coming from; and (vii) when you can't get them what they want, explain why.
4. In terms of asking questions to convey you are a strategic asset to the company, you must listen for what they aren't saying. As an example, to illustrate how a worker bee might approach something vs someone who is a "listener": let's say you've been asked to put together an analysis of something that seems dumb and obvious. A worker bee would simply buckle down and do the work because that's the task in front of them. By contrast, a listener asks, "I understand you're asking me for this analysis because of XYZ business issue. What are your concerns with the question giving rise to this analysis? How can we address them?" and then stops talking. This latter approach makes the listener look more strategic to senior management.

Evening: Watch more Mentalist, dinner is leftover wings & raisin bread, and bed around 10:30 since I have an early meeting tomorrow.