Money Diary #71

Morning: Wake up before 6, lay in bed for a while, and then brush my teeth. Go check the mail, walk around the house, and do a clay face mask. Dad texts that they are at the airport. Read and here is what I learn:

• Culture at the executive level: "Those of us in the executive level understand there is a stickiness to culture, that being exposed to and ingrained with that culture is part of the process of coming into our positions, and that the mentalities that led to certain decisions several years ago continue to persist today." 

• "It's all about expenses": "I contributed to the max allowed in a 401(k) for 20 years from age 37 to 57 though I went part-time at age 50. The company match was nothing special. The 401(k) reached 7 figures. I started late and retired early. It is all about expenses."

• "The perception of introversion as a negative thing makes me really sad": "With regard to the comments about how boring her life is, she is working out, hanging out with her significant other, visiting her favorite restaurants, and reading. All of those things sound wonderful and totally fulfilling. Just because something isn't your jam doesn't make it boring."

• The end goal: "She sounds like she doesn't care how she is perceived. Very chill."

• What high salaries mean: "I totally get the burnout. People only look at others' high salaries without thinking that it is high for a reason. I work in tech, and if an emergency issue emerges, I'm expected to solve the problem fast even if it's almost midnight."

• Separate and together: "I really admired how you and your significant other have such separate identities but are also a great team."

• No need for explanation in order to normalize the decision: "While an explanation would have been fun insight, I actually appreciated she did not feel the need to explain the decision as a way to normalize it."

• Setting prime conditions for my mental health: "My husband left for a trip for a few weeks, and during that time, I got to sleep exactly how I wanted. Cold room, windows, and blinds open, so I could hear birds and feel sunlight first thing in the morning. Getting to sleep and wake up in exactly my own prime conditions did wonders for my mental health, sleep quality, and outlook for the day."

• When expenses come from savings vs salary: "This week was really eye-opening. I was a bit horrified at how much I spent compared to how much I earn. I realized I've been relying on my savings from the pandemic to fund a more extravagant lifestyle than I might be able to afford currently."

• Cooking as a survival strategy: "Cooking and taking care of each other is a survival strategy to bring order to the day when you are out of a job."

• "Cooking as therapeutic 'me' time:" "The act of feeding people is primal. Cooking is my downtime, my therapy, and my headspace."

• Cooking concepts: 

• Person asks for a Thai peanut sauce recipe.

• Culinary expert responds that while she is horrible at measurements, the ingredients in the recipe were garlic, ginger, honey, lime, vinegar, soy sauce, sesame oil, Korean hot sauce and peanut butter. Something salty, something acidic, something sweet, and something creamy. Instead of being hyper focused on specific ingredients, she googles things to get a general idea and then works with what she has.

• This applies to more than just cooking: "You can't just ban someone from the kitchen just for screwing up. How will they learn? I say that as someone who couldn't cook an egg before I met my significant other, but was very interested in food. I had the knowledge, and he taught me the skills. Now, I'm the better cook."

Afternoon: Dad texts that they've boarded, and I air fry the last piece of salmon for lunch. Drink it with the last bit of Kroger cold-pressed orange juice. Since I'm out of the coconut pulling oil, I brush my teeth instead. Dad texts that they're about to start, and I start washing dishes that have been piling up over the past week. Go shower after that, and watch I Dream of Jeannie for a while. Dad texts that they have landed (yay!) and then more TV time. Once they are on the highway, they call and ask what I want from our favorite Chinese place for dinner. I put in a request for my regular Mongolian chicken and settle in with Rick Steves as he goes to Lisbon. They get back around 5:15 and then tea and crackers for everyone. They've brought back a ton of food, including some really salty nuts that are too salty for everyone, haha.

Evening: Dinner is Mongolian chicken & lo mein. They tell me about the trip, old friends they saw, and how people that I remember as babies are over 21 now. OMG, I feel so old, haha. Dad tells me he rode in a Tesla for the first time. Eat a nougat dessert they brought back, which is really tasty. More I Dream of Jeannie, and then bed around 10.

Money Diary #70

Morning: Wake up around 6:30, turn on the laptop to prep for the 9:30 meeting, and brush my teeth around 8. Walk a bit and decide to skip breakfast. Drink cold-pressed orange juice and head to the 9:30 meeting. I have a couple of pieces of feedback and I call my manager since I'm not sure whether the feedback is landing. It's always nice to run things by her and I am grateful to have such a responsive manager. Another colleague messages me on the office chat, and I respond to a couple of her messages. Decide to hold off on responding to the rest since I'm getting distracted from the meeting. The meeting is only supposed to run until 11:15, but it presses on. A few minutes later, my boss texts and asks if I mind staying on. I'm happy to and she drops off. I stay on for another half an hour, text my boss regarding next steps, and am exhausted when the meeting ends. 

Afternoon: Another colleague reaches out over chat with a couple of questions, I respond to her, and then plop on the couch & veg for a while. Warm up fried rice, cauliflower, and egg curry. Watch I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched. Text with Dad as they are coming back tomorrow. Walk for a while, go shower, and use the psoriasis shampoo. An email comes in, and I respond to that. Then, an email comes in where a response may involve some office politics, so I hold off on responding. A follow-up from the morning meeting comes in, but I'm tired and I decide to look at it on Sunday evening. Eat a few Ritz crackers for a snack.

Evening: Watch more Bewitched, then Shark Tank, and eat dinner of fried rice, egg curry, and ground turkey. Feeling tired, so bed around 10. 

Money Diary #69

Morning: Up before 6:30, brush my teeth, and go check the mail. Get a Bath & Body Works coupon, so I text SO about it. Work for a while and then breakfast of air-fried bacon & cold-pressed orange juice at 9:30. Work some more, and then jump on an 11:30 Zoom call with my boss. She returned from her work trip earlier than expected and fills me in on why. I go over some projects with her, and our call goes until 12:30. I speak to her about a potential development program and she's on board with my applying to it.

Afternoon: I work on some action items after I finish talking to her, and I see an invite for a 2:30 call. By the time I finish working, I realize it's almost 1:45 and I still haven't had lunch yet. Air fry shrimp & salmon for lunch and pour two glasses of orange Fanta. It smells a bit as I'm putting it in the air fryer, but I decide to eat it anyway. Head to the 2:30 call which ends an hour later. Just sit on the couch for a while since I'm tired. Apply to the development program, and around 5, I go shower. 

Evening: An email comes in for our 9:30 call tomorrow, so I review that, text my manager on our office messenger about a game plan, and chat with her for a while. Finish around 8, and since I'm not hungry yet, surf the internet. More air-fried shrimp & salmon with fried rice & cauliflower for dinner. Thankfully, the shrimp is done, and I only have one more piece of salmon that I'll finish tomorrow. Reminder to myself to air fry seafood as soon as it's marinated. Otherwise, it starts smelling. Watch Rick Steves visit Cornwall and imagine living there. Do a coconut oil pull. Too tired to brush my teeth, so I watch How I Met Your Mother instead. Bed around 11.

Money Diary #68

Morning: Up around 6:30, go take a shower, and brush my teeth. Check the mail, get grocery circulars & some coupon books. Cut out the coupons for Eggland's Best Eggs (for mom) and Burger King (for SO). Do work for a while until my 9 am Zoom call. That ends a bit before 10, and I finish up some work. Decide to skip breakfast, and walk around a bit. Mom calls, and I speak with her and her friend. 

Afternoon: Watch I Love Lucy, eat air-fried chicken tenders & bacon for lunch, and drink a glass of cold-pressed orange juice. Do a coconut oil pull, and log into the 12:30 webcast. Jump on a quick call after that with a colleague in preparation for our 2 pm meeting. In that meeting, some news is announced about another colleague who will be transitioning into a new role. Once that call ends, I'm done with meetings for the day, so I prep for a call with my boss tomorrow.  

Evening: SO texts that he has a free movie ticket, and asks what I'd like to watch, awww. Decide on the Dumbledore movie since I love Harry Potter, and it's the longest movie I can find (at 2 hours and 23 minutes) so we get the max enjoyment out of the free ticket, haha. Read for a while, and here is what I learn:

• Why people live above their means: "When you start with natural weaknesses like social & status cues, along with herd mentality, and then nurture them with lots of persuasive marketing, you end up with people who buy just a bit more than they can afford, year after year."

• Two questions to think about: "What things really make me happy in life, and which things bring me stress or unhappiness? What is the most effective and least costly way to cut out some of that stress and bring more of the happiness into my typical week?"

• A good mindset to have: "I need to work for what I get -- and conserve it."

• "Spending money can be good": "If it truly creates happiness, you're using it right."

Dinner is regular fried rice with air-fried shrimp & salmon. Brush my teeth, watch Green Acres & Rick Steves (something about this show is so calming), and bed around 11.

Money Diary #67

Morning: Up at 6:50, text Dad, and lay around for a bit. Mom calls to let me know she's at her friend's place. Go check the mail, walk for a while, and brush my teeth. Sign on for work, review & send off a project, and then go air fry bacon & drink a glass of cold-pressed orange juice for breakfast. I had put on 4 slices of bacon, and when I went to flip them over, one of them was missing, lol. It fell under the top pan in the air fryer. Get camera ready for my 9:30 Zoom call. Once that's over, I work for an hour on some projects that have come in. Mom calls to let me know there is a sale at Costco on one of the sweatshirts I'm interested in, but I want to see if it drops further in price. I'm done with meetings for the day, so I migrate with the laptop to the sofa. 

Afternoon: Air fry chicken tenders for lunch and drink a glass of orange Fanta. Have the last of the tres leches cake for dessert. Keep an eye out on my inbox, watch I Love Lucy, and brush my teeth & do a coconut oil pull. I reach out to my manager since I don't have a meeting on my calendar, and she immediately forwards me the invite. A few projects come in towards the end of the afternoon, so I review and complete them. Go shower and use the psoriasis shampoo. 

Read for a while, and here is what I learn:

• On what the important things are: "Do things you like with people you like."

• On a content life: "He never wished for anything beyond providing for the needs of his family."

• On an ideal week: "Your whole week consists of spending little to no money, except it's jam packed with fun things you did for free or at very little cost."

• "Careers are a journey": "Sometimes it's pushing uphill and sometimes it's a flat road."

• Truth: "A lot of times who your contact can connect you with or even get you a position matters the most -- not even your degree or experience matter at those times."

• Books I want to read: Designing the Obvious by Robert Hoekman and Your Life . . . Well Spent by Russ Crosson

• A reminder on staying humble: "I had to pay for a bagel in quarters this morning because it's two days until pay day." 

• Oof: "Due to my marriage situation, I cannot fathom getting invested in my career as it would lead to more marital problems, including my extended family relying on me for money."

• The lemon law of jobs: "The worst jobs are open over and over. Good jobs in good corporate cultures, not so much. People don't leave these jobs often, so they are harder to find."

• Good relationship advice: "I go along with him on having us spend on 'stuff' *I* don't want. I don't, however, attempt to 'reorient' him. It works for us because while he's naturally more of a spender than I am, he never proposes anything we can't actually afford."

• On surviving corporate America: "Make self-preservation effortless."

• On acquired tastes: "No one is born thinking that they need first-class tickets or a $100,000 car. These are acquired tastes, and just as one can learn to desire such things, one can unlearn these unhelpful urges."

• People's need to be "seen": "It seems like everyone who has money needs everyone else to know they are rich. It's interesting to see culture shift and people's need to be 'seen' these days."

• A tenuous difference: "The difference between 'happy kid in a thrift store shirt' and 'kid who went to bed hungry last night' is very tenuous."

• Something to think about: "Build a company to solve your own problems."

• This is A: "If you believe one person who says you can't, you have to believe one person who says you can."

• From within: "Peace truly comes from within."

• On working regardless of net worth: "I have one friend with a net worth over $200 million and an income of $2-4 million per year."

• Remember: "No one is paid based on how smart they are, they are paid based on the return value of the work they do."

• Seek out an environment that's conducive to learning: "Understand that asking for more responsibility doesn't always mean you will get the best possible scenario that is conducive to learning."

• On poverty: "Poverty is not a reason for admonition. Poverty is a reason to offer support."

Evening: Another project comes in during the early evening that I need to connect with a colleague on, so I set up some time with her tomorrow. Dinner is cauliflower fried rice, egg curry, and ground turkey stir fry. Do a coconut oil pull & brush my teeth. Bed around 11.

Money Diary #66

Morning: Up a little before 7, and see that Dad has texted me to reach out when I wake up. I text him back, get up, and brush my teeth. Walk around for a while and send an email to a colleague on some questions regarding the longer work project. Air fry bacon and drink cold-pressed orange juice for breakfast. I have a 9 am Zoom meeting, so I get camera ready for that. It goes for a little over an hour, and during the meeting, another project comes in. I finish that project, send it off, and continue listening in on the meeting. After it ends, review the long work project and jot down some notes to discuss with my manager. Since I'm done with meetings for the day, I migrate to the sofa. A few emails come in, and I keep an eye out on my inbox.

Afternoon: Air fry chicken tenders for lunch and drink it with a glass of Coke. Eat tres leches for dessert. Walk around for a bit, do a coconut oil pull & put on some cleanser. Respond to a few emails that come in, watch my inbox, and go shower. Read for a while, and here is what I learn:

• Find "follower" positions: "As I get more senior, I feel like I don't know how to do a damned thing. I was a strong junior, got great reviews, and felt like I was an excellent 'follower.' But this transition to leading projects and making decisions has made me feel clueless. I am close to panicking that I can't keep up this charade much longer."

• What is enough: "You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough."

• The problem with frugal personalities: "The same traits that allow them/us to save prevent them/us from purchasing 'splurge' items because they/we get stuck in the past where $4,000 represented a rather significant chunk of their/our net worth."

• "The corporate culture was empowering": "My positive experience there helped me create my own brand. Listening to its customers, creating unique & memorable experiences, valuing community & interesting content -- those are what made the company a phenomenon, and not just another company."

• Everything is learnable: "She never treated ignorance as an obstacle. It was like everything was doable and everything was learnable and nothing was too hard to do. She made it look, not easy, but she made it look really achievable."

• "There are benefits to staying in your lane": "But she, unlike others, didn't throw in the towel simply because others had come along to steal her thunder. She simply, and by necessity, pivoted towards cult status, which at least came with the safety belt of a loyal fanbase that still sustains her today."

• When 1 week spend = 2 weeks of pay: "My monthly savings are negative, so I must make a decent year-end bonus."

• The ultimate question: "At a certain point (unless you want to buy a 50 foot yacht), is there much of a difference between making $500k and $1.5 million? And is it worth the time and the stress of the higher paying job?"

• "The expensive part is not the money. It is the time": "If someone tells you that he cannot spend 20 to 40 minutes per week to roast coffee now, where can the person find the time to read the manual and play with the $4,000 coffee roaster?"

• Something to think about: 

• "Consider that the stress of the situation is what contributes directly to poor decisions. It's easy to have a clear head when you've got a reliable place to live and money in the bank." 

• "Making ethical choices is expensive and can be a luxury."

• "It's much easier to do the right thing when you're not financially strapped."

Evening: A work project comes in during the early part of the evening, so I log back on, review it, and send it off. Dinner is cauliflower fried rice, cauliflower, egg curry, and ground turkey stir fry. Do a coconut oil pull, brush my teeth, and bed around 11.

Money Diary #65

Morning: Dad texts me around 6:45, I lay in bed for a few minutes, and then get up. Brush my teeth, go check the mail, and walk around a bit. Air fry bacon and drink cold pressed orange juice for breakfast. Play Sabrina in the background while I cleanse my face with Clean & Clear. Switch over to I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched and put on a clay mask. As it dries, I catch up on reading. Here is what I learn:

• "I don't want to be a girlboss. I don't want to hustle": "I simply want to live my life slowly and lay down in a bed of moss with my lover and enjoy the rest of my existence reading books, creating art, loving myself & the people in my life."

• Don't let perfect be the enemy of good enough: Just do what you can do as much as you can. 

• "I'm for the easy life": "Paper pushing is the way to go for easy."

• Find "comfortable" hours: "Not all hours are the same. Much easier to spend 8 hours doing mindless work over drafting or analyzing complex issues."

• "Your current self is responsible for buying time for your future self": "Don't let your future self down. Say you worked until 60 and retired with $40 million. And now on your death bed (say around 75 or so), you were offered a deal, for $30 million, you can 'buy' an extra 15 years of quality life in retirement (joints work, you can travel, spend lots of time with loved ones). Well, that is the deal which will be in front of you one day. What will you do?" 

• What a healthy (work or personal) environment looks like: "Everyone, keep being yourselves and don't edit yourselves."

• On authenticity: "Something felt like it was off. A lot of the content didn't feel authentic -- it didn't feel real."

• This is me: "I just feel awkward when someone is curt with me when I've done nothing to bother them."

• Kill with kindness: "I don't like rude people in any context and I'm sensitive to being snapped at. But I also don't know what kind of day a person has had and I'm not going to make my day any better by matching their attitude."

• Abundant vs lean: "When things are abundant, it's easy to get along. When times become lean, however, our biological tendency towards self-preservation takes over. Perceived scarcity triggers our unconscious mind to take over and react without reasoning."

• How tech products are built: "Her eye for detail and perfectionism -- so essential to her way of thinking -- was fundamentally at odds with the way tech products are built, which is to get it out fast and fix it later."

• What you need is already inside you: "It's all about how you present it. You have subject matter expertise so you know how to understand complex ideas, and your writing skills means you're good at communicating them in digestible ways. Given your background, you know how to talk to their audience and that alone is a huge selling point for you!"

• What is work: "The notion rejects work as a basis for identity and instead frames it as an act to pursue out of financial necessity."

• The joy of working from home: "You don't have to put on a false persona and pretend to be someone that you're not."

• Why people keep interacting with you: "You share your thought processes and actions after you get advice, you don't get defensive, and you're open to receiving more advice."

• Because the work world is small: "Always leave situations on good terms (even when things go south)."

• On reallocation: "He has seen mothers cry for joy when they're given soap. The small, commonplace things we often take for granted can make a world of difference when reallocated."

• Red flags (both at work & in life): "People who prioritize always feeling 'wanted' or validated are likely to cheat."

• The ultimate goal of financial independence: "It's about not settling for a job that diminishes quality of life."

• On accumulating money: "It's about survival and feeling safe. I get more joy from that than spending it on something at the store."

• Why a company of one makes sense: "The people who are constant innovators are not the same people who typically want to run a thousand-person company. His own exit came when he realized he was 'solving HR issues, not creativity issues.'"

• The antidote to burnout: "Carve out another space, an activity outside of work and family that brings happiness and meaning. The kind of experience that makes you say, 'I can't believe I just did that.' Walking does that for me -- I do not care about losing weight. I just like the way I feel afterward, the rush of euphoria, then calm, the sudden revelatory sense that a tough work issue wasn't really a big deal after all."

• On negotiation: 

• "In the corporate world, you have around 10% room to negotiate, even if you walk on water. They will happily reject you if you ask too much. I've seen people try to renegotiate after an offer is made, and it makes them look ridiculous. It was step one of a long road leading to getting fired."

• "Everyone leaves money on the table. Every employer has a line in the sand number, call it n, over which they won't pay you. Your changes of landing a penny under that line are vanishingly small. To not leave money on the table, you'd need to nail n - $0.01."

Afternoon: Eat a very early lunch of air fried chicken tenders and tres leches. Do a coconut oil pull. Watch The Brady Bunch and then go shower. Eat a coconut parfait with grapes and move the work computer back into the bedroom. Decide to do the longer work project tomorrow. Eat a coffee cracker and several Ritz crackers.

Evening: Spend the evening reading Money Diaries, one of which remarks how the diarist "lives a simple, quiet life but meaningful to her." Watch Munsters and walk around a bit. Dinner is cauliflower fried rice, egg curry, cauliflower, and air-fried shrimp. Do a coconut oil pull, brush my teeth, and bed around 10:30.